Aşk Erkekler

Kadınlar ihaneti unutamıyor mu?

Paylaşmak güzeldir ;)

İhaneti kim unutabiliyor ki? İhanet bir tercih edilmeme halidir, en azından ihanete uğrayanın derinlerde hissettiği budur. ‘Beni istemedi, onu istedi’ veya ‘Benim yerime onu istedi’ veya ‘Bende olmayan ama onda olan bir şey vardı’ cümleleri beyinde dönüp dolaşırken, ihaneti unutmak mümkün mü?

Kadınlar ihaneti unutmak konusunda erkeklere göre biraz daha başarısız diye düşünüyorsanız yanılıyorsunuz. Türk toplumu, kültürü gereği, erkeğin ihanet etmesini haklı kılıcı öğretiler ve inanışlarla kadının ihanetini ahlak dışı bir kavram olarak lanse ededursun, ihanete uğramış olmak hem kadın hem erkek için oldukça ağır bir kalp kırıklığıdır.

İhanete uğramış bir erkek çoğunlukla kadını terk eder veya zaten kadın onu çoktan terk etmiş ve diğeri ile bir yol çizmiş olur. Ancak erkeğin ihaneti durumda iş biraz farklılaşabiliyor. Neden?

Kadınların ihaneti çoğunlukla tek gecelik, öylesine, sarhoştum oldu gibi sebeplerden değil aşık olduğu için gerçekleşiyor. Yani bir kadın ihanet ettiğinde zaten bir seçim yapmış oluyor. Dolayısı ile erkeğin onu affetmesi, ihaneti unutup birlikteliğe devam etmesi gibi bir seçeneği de olamıyor.

Ancak erkeklerin ihanet sebepleri o kadar çeşitli ki, ihanet sonrası ‘Lütfen beni affet’ diyerek ilişkiye devam etmek istiyorlar. İhanet sonrası pişmanını dile getiren erkeğin sunduğu sebep, sonrasındaki pekiştirici davranışlar ve sadakat sözleri kadın için affetme sebebi ancak bu asla tamamen unuttuğu anlamına gelemiyor.

İhaneti unutmak mümkün mü?

Kadınlar ihanet sonrası ilişkiye devam etse bile uzun bir süre bu fikri aklından atamadığı gibi aradan yıllar geçse bile hatırlıyor ve hatırlatıyorlar.

İhanet hem erkek hem kadın için  atlatılması zor bir travma olarak kalıyor. İhanet sonrası ideal olan çiftin ilişkiye devam etsin veya etmesin bir terapiste giderek atlatma yolunu tercih etmeleri.


Paylaşmak güzeldir ;)

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